My life is in ruins...falling apart right before my eyes...what do i do?

I'm only 19 years old. I've been through so much in life already. I don't really have any friends so I just needed some place to just be open and not bottle things up inside so no snappy comments please. My dad died when I was 9. He was an alcoholic and never bought my mom and I a stable home. So when he died we weren't left with much. We bought a house after we died but had to sell it when my mom got fired. We lived from family member to family member for years until I finished high school. I also didn't fit in there. I'm a really smart person and could do so much if I just got a chance. After high-school my mom and I moved to another town. We lived with an aunt who was vulgar, complained about giving us food and we slept on the floor too. While living there I started getting recurring anxiety due to doing nothing all day so I started looking for a job. I found a really crappy one in Telesales. The hours were very odd and I hated the job so much. It was so stressful. So I left and found another job in sales. This one was better so I stayed awhile. It went so well that I had my anxiety under control and even moved out into a flat with my mother. I was doing okay financially until things started going downhill at work. New management took over and work became unbearable. The staff were getting sworn daily and there were constant disputes so I left. I ended up passing out at work and was hospitalized for 2 weeks. I'm now unemployed. Work is so hard to find. I haven't went to college because I can't afford to. So now I can't even get a scholarship because if I don't work , who will pay rent for my mom and I? Where would we go? I don't even have the luxury of worrying about a boyfriend or friends. All the stuff kids my age get to worry about trivial stuff. I feel like my childhood has been stripped from me. I've got no appetite, I keep getting sick which makes me miserable and I'm running out of savings for rent. How do I see a way forward? I can feel the anxiety start to set in. Am I doing something wrong? How do I piece my life back together?